Clarence strikes again! Got a congratulations card from an old friend of ours. So far, so good. But inside the card was another card, this one addressed to me alone, and labeled "Open Only When You Think the B-Side to 'Help!' Was Written to Describe How You Feel." Hmmm... B-side to "Help!"? Pardon me whilst I rack my brain for my useless Beatles knowledge. "Yes it Is"? No... "Long Tall Sally"? Alas... Ah! "I'm Down." Perhaps he's referring to my investments? Wait, I don't have any investments (I correctly predicted the crash of 2002. Of course, I predicted it'd happen in 1994).

No, of course not, because this friend is the one euphemistically referred to in these pages as Clarence, after Jimmy Stewart's guardian angel in It's a Wonderful Life. He evidently reads this blog and knows of my propensity to get depressed (latest theory: not enough testosterone... thank you, six o'clock news, but I refer you to the two kids my wife just begat). Anyhow, I'm going to respect his wishes and wait for the appropriate emotion. When I reach it, you'll be the first to know. Obviously. And then, and only then, will I reveal its contents.

So now you have a reason to come back! Hooray!