As expected, I've been deep in Jealousy of People Better Than Me mode... no, not the usual suspects, this time it's my brother, and I'm not jealous of his accomplishments, I'm jealous of the $2200 bass guitar he's getting for his 21st birthday this Saturday. Mind you, I'm sure he deserves it--he's an excellent funk bassist and that's in fact how he's currently making his living--and 21 is indeed an important birthday, but, y'know... I turned 30 in January and the mom and stepfather gave me a, um, Borders gift certificate. Not for $2200, by the way.
I'm thirty, yes I know, and I should be past the need to get expensive toys, but I'm still a kid at heart, and not in the good ways, either, just the petty, annoying ones.
Steve (my stepfather) visited us last night. He was in Bethesda on business. I showed him Star Wars: Episode One and a Half and he was floored. He asked, "Squelch, you have so much talent in so many places... I don't understand why you're not making money off it yet!" I'm not sure that's exactly what he said... I'm sure he said it in a nicer way.
Really, I don't have incredible talent, though it's been said I have a way with words. The real amazement, to me, is that everyone has talent. Truly. I mean, just look to the column on the right and peruse the great writing in those blogs, each and every one of them by plain old regular people like you and me. Talent is not a problem in this world; there's talent to spare.
So what does keep the beautiful people under the TV lights and the rest of us watching them? Ambition? Persistence? Not bothering to wonder why some people are famous and others aren't? William Goldman wrote once that "stars have no friends, they have business acquaintances and serfs... But they get the good table at Spago." So is that the key? Do you have to (Goldman again) "get rid of everything personal that might hinder you"? Sometimes it's tempting. But what's the point? Despite my stepfather's, my wife's, and more than a few other people's protestations, I'm not talented, I'm just average.
I'm not exactly sure what I'm trying to say here. Just more of the same, I guess. I think somewhere in there I was going to philosophize about the Internet and how it used to be that talented people without ambition would just get moldy on the shelf, but now (witness Blogger) any old putz can get themselves published. But that might detract from my stated mission of annoying people with my self-pity, so I better forget it.
By the way, I am a little jealous of my brother's accomplishments, as well as his bass guitar, after all. To be twenty-one again... and talented... and confident...
Readers of The Suburban Limbo! Have I alienated you yet? Well, if not, I'll keep trying, and thanks for stopping by!
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