Choo choo. What's it like waiting for the baby to come?

Picture yourself at a train station (with plasticine porters with looking-glass ties). You're waiting for the next train. Your ticket proclaims: "No refunds. Not a sleeping car. When train arrives, passenger will perform engineer's duties. Approximate travel time: 18 years."

Now imagine you don't know what time the train actually arrives, and you've put all your other engagements on hold to catch it.

Now further imagine your traveling companion is in tremendous pain and the pain increases exponentially the closer the train comes, until, when the train is finally in sight, she's begging you to cut her in half at the waist.

Finally, imagine the train is filled with other passengers; toddlers, newborns, and in-laws mostly.

Now, picture yourself actually looking forward to the journey.

"Welcome to Amtrak's Parenthood line, making station stops at Insanity, Joy, Potty Junction, Lack-o-the-Sleep, Sex Talk..."