"Issue One!" says John McLaughlin, "The One About Affairs. Mor-ton, is Squelch A) judgemental, or B) completely misunderstood, when he takes Molly to task for her handling of her failed marriage?"
"Completely misunderstood, John. Squelch wasn't talking about her situation, but that of his best friend, where the spouse left after meeting an old flame she hadn't seen in twenty-five years, and when, by her own admission, she had been happy in the marriage until this 'gentleman' who she knew at fifteen called her out of the blue."
"Eleanor! Judgemental ass, or misunderstood poet?"
"Judgemental ass, John. Of course he has every right to leap to his friend's defense, but he has no idea what was going through the spouse's mind, and that, I think, is the point Molly is trying to make. The spouse may have said she was happy, but how can Squelch enter into her mind and know the truth--or even enter into their relationship and know the truth?"
"Answer," says McLaughlin, "Squelch is a misunderstood judgemental ass. He was talking about an individual case, but by unfairly comparing that case with Molly's story, he gave the impression that All Vows Are Created Equal, a ridiculous assertion for which he deserves to be censured. Issue Two! Has Squelch gone too long without being self-piteous? After our break."
----
In English, for those of you who aren't familiar with The McLaughlin Group. Molly said:
[Squelch's] argument will of course be that I made the vows, and I should have been prepared to live up to them. My excuse that I was young and stupid when I made the vows holds no water.
Ouch. Well, I guess I deserve that. But no, that wasn't my argument. After all, I don't know Molly from a hole in the wall (though she's a far better writer than your average hole in the wall). But I do know my friend, and I can't think of any justification for what he's been through. (They weren't young and stupid when they got married, after all.) But I apologize for the comparison; it was unfair, as John said. And I acknowledge that there's no way I can peek into anyone's relationship and know the Whole Truth.
K and I were young and stupid when we made our vows (though I think K would disagree). Fortunately for us, we both got smart at the same rate and in complementary ways. We still have our troubles, but we're doing the happily ever after thing. Nonetheless, I'm the first to recognize how lucky we are, and how that isn't the case for many folks. So, sorry, Molly; I didn't intend to judge you.
Astute readers will note that I've removed Fauxhemian from my Seal of Approval list and replaced it with The Umbrella Stand. I love people who aren't afraid to tell me when they think I'm full of it.
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