This is Zach's personal blog. If you're looking for his movies, please click here. Otherwise, have fun!

Thursday, March 08, 2007

If you can read this, you are too close.

Someone once said that you should write as if everyone you care about is dead, meaning that an author can't be encumbered by worry over what others will say about his or her writing. (Besides the usual, "damn, too many run-on sentences" and the like.) Whoever said it, no doubt they said it before the Internet age.

Take Rooster Spice, f'rinstance. I started blogging in 2002, long before Google was a verb, and I did so under my real name. I knew that it was possible that people I knew personally would find me, but I didn't care about it; if I had something to say, I said it, even if it made people worry that I was cracking up, or worse, suicidal. For one thing, I figured anyone who knew me would know that I was a moody type in real life and within a few days I would be back to my usual chipper self. Alas, my friends are not, in fact, equipped with telepathy, and so when I said that I was suicidal and/or a danger to others, they--gasp!--believed me, and tried to help. I wrote down my deepest feelings as a type of therapy for years, but it was only when I blogged that other people wrote back.

This was part of the reason that I quit blogging for several months, and then came back psuedonymously. Of course, by then, the damage had been done and the bookmarks had been set, so I went back to my real name eventually. And so, more and more people discovered the Spice: friends, brothers both close and long-lost (and if you're reading, Owen, send me your address because I owe you a Christmas card, damn it), and finally, mom and pop. Mom sometime last year, I think, and Dad very recently. Oh, and the wife, of course, but I never tried to keep it a secret from her.

So, that's fine, I can keep things to a civil tone so that all you sensitive people don't get unnerved. (If you detected some bitterness in that sentence, dear reader, that's your problem, not mine.) But jeez, on some days, I sure do miss the therapy. But when what I have to write would not only worry my friends, but most likely hurt and sicken my family, well, what's a therapeutic blogger to do?

(Cultivate real-life friendships, I suppose. Good luck with that.)

5 comments:

Medley said...

Create an anonyblog at LJ or something?

Patrick said...

Can I just say that's a great title for a post of this nature. Not the feedback you wanted, mayhap, but I stand by it.

Squelch said...

Thanks, Pat. I take great pride in my titles.

Godfrey said...

What medley said - or just keep a private, non-Intertubes-connected journal if it's the catharsis of writing you crave.

Godfrey said...

Upon re-reading and reflection, I'm not sure I really understand what you're saying after all.

"I wrote down my deepest feelings as a type of therapy for years, but it was only when I blogged that other people wrote back" sounds like you feel the writing back is a good thing.

And yet when people show concern — when they give a rat's ass about what you say and "[try] to help" — you call them "sensitive people" who "get unnerved", as though having people care about you is a kind of imposition.

So what do you want?