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Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Grated cheese.

Medley writes:
Apart from all that maturity above, though, you've reminded me why I'm glad my spouse doesn't have time to do any community theatre!
Besides making me LOL, that comment reminded me of a conversation long ago in college (with Mike, I think), when we were wondering whether acting was a particularly dangerous thing to do if one is susceptible to crushes. Or, since correlation does not equal causality, perhaps it's acting itself that causes dangerous crushes, hence all the crazy Hollywood marriages one hears about.

Certainly that's the case for me, and it's probably good that I wound up falling for a scientist instead of an actress/musician/etc. (though K is actually an excellent visual artist in her own right), because I doubt any of the crushes I've had would have worked out for more than, say, a month or so if that. And there have been a lot of them, though this one has been one of the worst (otherwise I wouldn't be so broken up about it), second only to one which nearly broke up our marriage (although in truth, there was a LOT more going on than that--this was just before I was diagnosed with clinical depression).

But to return to the topic at hand... is there something about acting that increases the intensity of infatuation? Or if not acting, performance in general? I mean, I get on stage not for the process, certainly not for the audition thrill (?!?!?), but for the applause. And if you have a cast to whom you're close, that applause tends to bind you together--at least for that moment--in a profound way. Does it create something else beyond just the closeness of a cast? I don't know, since I've never acted with anyone with whom there was a mutual attraction. (Not just because I've been with K for essentially all of my adult life; I'm sure my manifest unattractiveness has something to do with it.)

I don't know. My stepfather once joked that I turned 40 when I turned 14, and he might have been right; unfortunately, I managed to turn 14 when I turned 22, and that's pretty much where I've remained in the subsequent 12 years...

(No, the title has no relation to the post. Sue me.)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

... is there something about acting that increases the intensity of infatuation?

My two bits: I don't think it's acting so much as the enforced closeness of a small group of like-minded people. Think of those hookups on Survivor. Or those officers in a submarine. Or those orange lumps in a spawning dish.

Then again, acting may enter into it. You're seeing the stage face of the other performers, as well as the backstage face; together, it gives the (not always correct) sense of knowing all sides of that person. And if you like all the sides - if you're impressed by the acting skills and the human being - hey presto, it's kismet.

Webster's defines a crush as being "an intense and usually passing infatuation." As the victim of many a 16 ton weight myself, I'll just mix my metaphors and say that a flame is hot and bright, pretty and exciting, but it does disappear awfully fast. Me, I'd rather have an ember.