Don't read this if you don't like hearing about parenthood or Number Two.

Hm. If you have iTunes, click on over to the Podcast directory and look down, under the Cartoons tab. Click the arrows to cycle through 'em. You might see someone you know. My circulation has doubled since it appeared. Yow. Pressure.

This past Monday/Tuesday, I had possibly my worst 24 hours that didn't involve clinical depression ever. It began at about 10:30 Monday night, when I was in bed reading The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay, and there was a stunning crash from the direction of the stairs. Oh dear. Noodles, the new kitten, had attacked a potted plant and, apparently, won. There were dirt and broken clay pieces all over. I cleaned it up, but it must have somehow aggravated the cold I'm getting, because I spent the rest of the night coughing myself awake.

Then in the morning, the daughter had wet the bed; not too suprising, nor that much of a hardship, since she only just started sleeping without diapers. But sure enough, after getting the boy off to the school bus, we had two more accidents, the last one just at the exact time that we needed to pick the boy up at the bus stop! To make matters worse, that accident included both liquid and solid components. And what a solid! I had to put the girl in the shower to clean it all up, and literally shake the soiled underwear over the toilet to get what I thought were the last remnants down the drain. Then out the door in the nick of time to pick up the son at the bus stop (by law, bus drivers cannot leave kindergarteners at their bus stop alone), the poor daughter's wet hair freezing in the cold.

But the fun wasn't over! I had dropped the soiled underwear in the bathroom sink in my haste, figuring I'd need to rinse it thoroughly before throwing it in the hamper anyway. Turns out all of the solid stuff hadn't gone in the toilet, and was now blocking the drain! I tried to remove it while protecting my fingers with toilet paper; you can imagine how well that worked. So, now the sink was completely clogged, and no Drano anywhere in the house. So, off to the supermarket, children in tow, to get two bottles of Drano. Did I mention that the kitchen is being re-done, and the bathroom sink is the only sink in the house?

We return, and I unclog the sink. Now on a normal day I might be able to ask K to cook for me, being as I'm completely underwater by this point, but a) as mentioned before, we have no sink and therefore can't do much cooking anyway, and b) K happens to be working late today. So, I call in some food from a local pizza joint, and go off again with the kids to pick it up and bring it home. While we're gone, our dog, not content with my being merely frazzled, sends me into hysterics when I come home and find him eating up the food we had left upstairs in storage while our kitchen is remodeled. So, there are crushed ginger snaps everywhere, soiled underpants in the bathroom, two extremely hungry kids waiting for their chicken tenders and French fries, and in the midst of it all, a daddy on the verge of either laughing or crying due to the absurdity of it all.

At this point K calls to see how we're doing, and to her eternal credit she comes right home.

Then, at about 10 P.M., almost exactly 24 hours after all this bad karma began, finally the sun begins to shine; I get a call from the director of a local production of Noises Off, telling me I've been cast in precisely the role I wanted, Garry (John Ritter, for those who saw the movie). So, at least I go to bed happy. But what a day! It's enough to make you check into a hotel.