Blind fucking rage about nothing. Was that a Seinfeld blind rage? When I look back, will my life be a blind rage?

"All I know is
What I want most of all
Is to know what I want."
-- Into the Woods

It all comes down to one fucking choice. Except, of course, it doesn't, not really; because one choice is so inextricably bound up in the person you are (and were), and that choice, even if it were different, would have been cancelled out and rendered moot by all the other choices, and the result would have been virtually the same.

Unless, I suppose, one talks about the choice of one's parents to conceive and the choice of the chromosomes to stick together in just the specific way that created you. That's a choice that could have made a difference.