Bushwhacked. I suppose I really ought to write something about the new "Let's Make a Deal." Not because I watched it (I didn't) and not because I think it's brilliant television (I don't). Rather, because of Billy Bush, former Z104 morning man turned game show host.

And, no, I'm not going to write about his relation to our Commander-in-Fief. I'm going to write about his relationship to me--he went to college with me, and graduated with my class, even. We never hung out or indeed even met. We ran in very different circles.

I was a theater major, and once I was involved in a horrible, nightmarish production of Romeo and Juliet. I was working on something else at the time and joined the cast basically as a favor to the professor who was directing. I had a cameo as the Prince, a small but important role.

As the rehearsals went on, it became clear that I had made a bad, bad decision. So I arranged to be fired--I told the director I was taking a day off for family reasons, he got angry, and I said, look, you can find someone else to play the Prince. So, he fired me, and I waltzed away. I'm not particularly proud of that, in hindsight; it was horribly unprofessional. But, from a student's standpoint, it was the right thing to do.

I went to see the production when it opened. The guy who replaced me (and who played the Prince woodenly, though like a soft wood, maybe pine) was Billy Bush, who had never acted in the four years we had been at Colby, as far as I know.

Do you suppose if I had played the Prince, I would be hosting "Let's Make a Deal" now?

If so... I definitely made the right choice.

(By the way, my graduation speaker was noted atheist-hater George H.W. Bush. What an amazing coincidence!)