Parenthood sucks.
There's just no way around it--parenthood sucks.
I mean, what the hell are you supposed to do with a kicking, screaming little girl? Drop her off at nursery school? Hit her? Scream at her?
I don't have the tools. The skill set. Whatever you want to call it.
I am a hopeless failure as a parent. The simplest of tasks--take daughter to nursery school, drop her off. I wind up yelling, screaming, bruised and battered. At least, I suppose, I was the one who wound up bruised, and not her. That's the one saving grace. And after she kicked me in the teeth with her huge winter boots, I almost hit her.
But really, if the screaming and yelling isn't in itself abuse, what is? Therefore, I am an abusive parent. Therefore, I am not fit to be a parent. Therefore, I am not fit to live.
I took her home. She stopped kicking and screaming. I informed her that if she wasn't going to nursery school, she would stay in bed all morning. And so, she is lying in bed in a darkened room, and isn't that a form of abuse as well? What's the difference between putting a child in bed and locking her in a closet?